I live on a mountainside between two oceans. Porcupines go bump in the night, and munch my attempts at growing vegetables. The world is heating up. I write. I run. I salute the sun. Life is very tough for people who don't have Internet. But not because they don't have Internet. Women should be completely empowered, but continue to wear high heels. South Africa needs better social leadership to defeat HIV and rape and crime.
Despite the fact that the warnings raised by the science of climate change are unfortunately becoming more stark, and despite the fact that they'll affect us more directly here in Africa and South Africa than in many developed countries, we have yet to see the issue make it onto our newspapers' front pages in quite the way it has in the United Kingdom, thanks to these pioneering front pages from The Independent.
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Climate scepticism is one of the terms used to describe those who do not believe in global warming, or do not believe that it is caused by human beings, or do not think it is a bad thing.
If you’ve ever found yourself frustrated or at a loss in a conversation with a climate sceptic, you might find this website very helpful (if you are a climate sceptic, it might be illuminating):
http://scienceblogs.com/illconsidered/2008/07/how_to_talk_to_a_sceptic.php
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The humiliating thing about depression, when it shuts down your ability to work, is not being able to explain why you can't work.
“It's like there’s this glass wall between me and my computer.”
“It's like trying to hold together the south poles of two strong magnets.”
“It's like trying to commit suicide when you’ve forgotten to take off the bungee cord.” (Phew, that analogy came steaming out of the dark side.)
None of this would make sense, I suspect to many people. But then many people also do not understand that there is a huge difference between being depressed and being absolutely miserable. I rather enjoy being miserable these days (when I am; it’s not a permanent state). It’s so nice, compared to being depressed.
Anyway, happily, at the moment I’m quite easily able to work. So I’m just marveling at the difference between how it feels now, and those other times.
***
Hm, since I’m reflecting on depression ... when I started to read in the last couple of years that children are being diagnosed as being bipolar, I was really sceptical. I don’t have any conscious memory of being depressed before I was 16 (though I do know my first encounter with a mental health professional came around the age of 12). But I realised last week that the various rather nasty tinges to “reality” that I experience when I’m depressed are qualia I recall feeling from a very early age. The worst bit is when you still think it’s the world that’s permanently awful, and don’t realise that it’s you.
***
How do I deal with (bipolar?) depression now? Phew, it’s a hard-won skill to the extent that one has it.
It’s incredibly useful, firstly, to recognise it. To understand when your thoughts are taking on that peculiarly hopeless and/or obsessive quality. “Oh shit, it’s happening again. Oh, thank heavens, that’s what it is, that’s why things seem so awful. Oh god, this is scary, I hope it’s not going to be really bad. Oh, at least I can try and do something about it, now, now I know what’s happening to me.”
So once I know what’s happening to me, this is what I do, these days.
1) I’m on lithium and lamotrigine. I’m not sure to what degree they help. But I can’t say they absolutely do not help, either. I’m not sure. So I push up my dose, and get to my psychiatrist quickly. (My theory is that a good psychiatrist sees you first as another human being, and only then as a patient, in case you’re wondering; should also have a scrupulously rational and curious mind, and understand the limits of their dismal art.)
2) Yoga. Yoga is brilliant for depression. Not the vigorous stuff, ashtanga and the like. No, just plain old hatha yoga. Do what you can, only. A good yoga teacher only encourages, but never pushes you, anyway. (Which should help you recognise the bad ones.)
Learn the Salute to the Sun (an essential life skill for everyone, really), and try and start every day with a few rounds.
3) Sleep. Good sleep is so important. If you don’t know about sleep hygiene, Google it and find out. (This one is tough, especially if you live alone.)
4) Go easy on myself. I just can’t get as much done when I’m depressed. I have to make adjustments. Pare back expenses and hope I’ll make it through to when I can work full-speed again. Resist inadvertent pressures from others who don’t understand that I can only manage 15% of what I was managing three weeks ago.
Some first thoughts.
Comments [0]
Climate scepticism is one of the terms used to describe those who do not believe in global warming, or do not believe that it is caused by human beings, or do not think it is a bad thing.
If you’ve ever found yourself frustrated or at a loss in a conversation with a climate sceptic, you might find this website very helpful (if you are a climate sceptic, it might be illuminating):
http://scienceblogs.com/illconsidered/2008/07/how_to_talk_to_a_sceptic.php
Comments [0]
Comments [0]